My dear friend Emily, who was also my inspiration for the creation of this blog, reminded me, (tactfully) that people who create blogs WRITE in them. "I haven't seen a new post in awhile, Elaine."
So here I am, putting the truth out there.
I haven't been writing because, A) I'm too preoccupied with worrying, and B) It's not a pretty picture. And yes, I feel obligated to put a pretty picture out there, for friends and family.
Because the theme of my blog is "Life as it is, Right Now," this news is actually quite appropriate, though. Financially speaking, life is very scary right now. I'm sure I'm getting an "amen" from many corners of the world with that statement. In fact a close friend with whom I shared my woes responded with "well, we're all in this together." Perhaps, but I don't know how that will comfort me if I lose my home. It's not like she will want me, my boys, my dog and all of our belongings coming to rest in HER house.
My equity line of credit on my house was cancelled by my bank this week. Why? The bank claims that the value of my house has dropped $50,000 since I opened the line of credit six years ago. They now value the house below the price I paid for it. This valuation was not done through an appraisal, but through a computerized system that is comparing my house, based on its address, to who-knows-which other houses. There are 800 foreclosed homes in Cleveland Heights, so I imagine mine is somehow being compared to those.
Because I have only $1500 in my savings account and because I have an auto insurance bill of that same amount due in December, the ability to borrow from the equity in my home was a needed safety net. It is now gone. We can only hope that nothing needs repairing or replacing around here. It is truly paycheck-to-paycheck living here.
Yes, I know I am not alone. But that doesn't mean I shouldn't be thinking about what I will do about this. I have to do everything I can for myself, Erik, Brad and Jordan. (Oh yes, and Riley, who needs a $200 vet appointment). My mind whirls with the uncomfortable truths- Brad may not be able to finish college, and Jordan may not be able to go. We may have to sell the house and live in an apartment (have you seen how BIG my boys AND my dog are?). Of course, we may not be able to sell the house, and we may not get anything from a sale if the value has truly dropped that low. Used to be, the house was the source of security. Not any longer, apparently.
It seems that the wisest thing for me to do is increase my income. Therefore, a half-hearted search for a new job has begun. Imagine my surprise, when I found a posting for a Director of Development job at my alma mater- The College of Wooster! I have had many daydreams of living and working in Wooster...yet, the dreams involved an alpaca farm! It's a big transition, to go from that dream to another office job, but I'm trying to get my mind around it, and I'm trying to muster some self-confidence in case I get invited for an interview. I just can't imagine promoting myself to a potential new employer right now...somehow, my spirits are simply too low.
And, I'm formulating a big Plan B. More on that later, perhaps.
In the meantime, this IS a pretty picture:
2 comments:
I agree with you that this financial time is very scary. I can't imagine the stress you're going through because I can imagine that life changes a lot when it's not just about you anymore and you have a family you're thinking about. So for that reason I can't even empathize with you. But I can sympathize with you and I do. I think about you often and hope that this financial situation somehow gets better for you and for everyone. Hang in there, friend. Oh yeah, and if you need interview advice, that happens to be up the Interpersonal Communication alley and therefore, I'm your girl!
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