I Want to be a Learner, Too

It is the first day of school in the Cleveland Heights School District. I spoke to a young 5th grader last night and was buoyed up by his quick, excited exclamations- "Tomorrow is my first day!! I have all my supplies ready!" And , "Gosh- this is the last year of high school for your son. Wow. He must have LOTS of supplies! Tell him he can't sleep until 10:00 any more!"

So much enthusiasm. So much happy anticipation. There will be flag raising ceremonies and cheerful, inviting teachers, to greet those youngsters...and course syllabi and statements of expectations for the older ones.

Jordan did at least six loads of laundry yesterday, to mark this occasion. We don't talk about it (I was just happy to see the floor of his room again!), but I expect that he didn't want to be caught without just the right thing to wear during the first week.

I was happy to drive through a few school zones and see faces in school bus windows, and to wave to other parents as I completed my drop-off routine. The new school year beginnings have been part of my life for about 40 of my 49 years- either as a student myself or as the mother of students. And the calling back to learning still stirs in me. It is more than habitual; it is a hunger.

I want to be a learner, too.

And today I realize that part of the frustration that I described in my last entry comes from the fact that I am not learning. I am in a place where I reorganize the same thoughts, facts and visions on paper over and over again. Nothing new is being created by me or inspired in me or delivered to me.

Today, Robert Kilo stopped into our offices. He is running for Mayor of Cleveland. He is a fascinating candidate, and as I watched him leave the building, I wished I could trail him all day...all week, and learn what makes him tick, then write a story about the man who has relentless energy for a campaign that he refers to as "teamwork" and a role that he labels "servant leader."

My boss came in from a meeting with a Plain Dealer reporter. The way he tells it, he is (kindly, and with integrity) manipulating the press...cleverly preparing them to print a big story when the time is just right. "I spent 40 minutes telling him things off the record; then 15 giving him an on the record story." As if he is the reporter's Deep Throat. I wanted to follow my boss all day...all week, and learn more about how he operates, then sit down and write the story of the man behind the movement to redefine education in Cleveland- the details of who he is and how he did it- through relentless pursuit and clear goals and an ability to stretch the truth, but not too far.

I am thinking of that 5th grade boy, who was apparently much more nervous about the first day this morning, than he had been last night. I want to follow him all day...all week, and write the story of adapting to a new school and new culture, from the child's point of view.

I want to be a learner, too. It is a hunger in me.